Mistakes. We all make them. I will admit one of my biggest character flaws. I am a screamer. It releases something inside me, like steam escaping a teapot. I try really hard to contain it, but I make many mistakes. I believe I has also told you that I am a thrower. I love to throw things when I am angry. I love to see things break. That I have mastered, I no longer throw things so there is hope.
The past few weeks we all have been really sick. It started with a round of strep, then a sinus infection ran through us. We have been dealing with upset stomachs due to antibiotics along with going through boxes and boxes of tissues for nose blowing. The coughing is unbearable and I even lost my voice. It has been a rough winter.
The stress has made me super on edge. I lose my cool much easier than normal. If I am getting ignored or if I have to ask a child something more than a couple times I lose it and HOLLER. I hate repeating myself so if I feel like I am not being listened to I lose it and I SCREAM. Trust me, after years of working with 40+ schoolagers in a big gym, I can raise my voice when I need to, so I am LOUD.
This weekend I noticed my daughter SCREAMING in this guttural tone. It was me. Totally me. I felt awful! I knew she was just doing what she learned. She was mostly screaming when her brother was bothering her. I also heard her say, "I just said that! I don't want to say it again." Woah.
It is those times that being a parent and making mistakes hit you square in the gut. I knew that I had impacted her in such a way to showed her that yelling like that was acceptable. Last night at bedtime I explained that I realized she was screaming more and that she sounded like me. We chatted and decided we would begin to remind each other that screaming is not acceptable. I told her we all make mistakes and we need each others help to do the right thing. I told her she wasn't correcting me, but helping me remember and I would do the same for her.
Let see if it helps us both.