affirmation

Today I had to go to the psychiatrist with both my daughter and my son. Thankfully he sees them together which is really convenient. He is a kind and wise, small indian man. I like him alot. He intimidates me, but I advocate for my kids and he respects that. I think he is amazing.

Today my son was obsessed with food. He seems to think that every time we leave the house we are going to eat out. In the middle of the med check he started in. I tend to parent by making the kids come to their own conclusions so that it helps them become problem solvers. It went something like this:

son: Can we go out to eat?
me: Son, did I just answer that question in the lobby.
son: yes
me: Does that mean I'll change my mind?
son: no. Can we stop and get something on the way home?
me: What did I just say?
son: No. I don't want Apple Jacks.
me: Is there something else you can choose?
son: yes.
me: Then we don't have to have this conversation right?
son: right.

I look up and the psychiatrist is smiling at me. My eyes got big and I said, "Sorry." He said, "Don't apologize, I so enjoy the way you parent." I looked at him incredulously and explained that I like them to problem solve. He said, "It is called the socratic method and it leads children to form their own conclusions by answering questions. You are a wonderful parent."

Wow. I was extremely proud of that moment. I don't always feel like a good parent let alone a wonderful parent. I need to remind myslef of this exchange more often. It felt good. (My favorite part is when we were leaving, the doc asked me "What is an Apple Jack?")

He has some quotations under the glass of his desk. My favorite one is :

“You cannot prevent the birds of sadness from passing over your head, but you can prevent their making a nest in your hair” – Wise Chinese Proverb