I am in a bad place. I am in pain most of the time. I saw the new surgeon since my last post and he said that the bone fragment is not causing much issue. The issue is with a torn tendon that runs along the inside of my right ankle. It is damaged and very inflamed. Each step causes pain. I am back in a boot and an orthotic is being made. It is likely I will have to have tendon repair surgery in the near future. The constant pain wears on me.
I am also struggling emotionally. I am fretting over every little thing. I am not sure if it is a product of the pain, but I know it is not good. That old feeling of dread is creeping into everything I do or think. I find myself gritting my teeth or with my shoulders raised in stress multiple times a day for no real reason. It is all consuming.
I am critical and judgmental of both myself and others. I hate being in this place. I hate being this person. I wish I felt better physically, I know that would help. I feel trapped and I need to escape.