whining

I am healing. My leg is doing much better, although my movement is slow and motions are hampered due to the plate in my ankle. It does not allow me to flex my foot and I have a hard time walking. I look like Igor.

My little kids are definitely taking advantage of my immobility. They know I cannot get up quickly to deal with disputes so they can whack each other. That and a med change for the ADD one and we have a recipe for disaster. The Daytrana patch is doing well, but we are still tweaking dosages. 10mg is not enough and 20 mg trigger more bug fears, aggitation and frustration. Here's hoping that 15mg works well on both fronts. We shall see this week.

The Big Kid with FAS is being a pain in my ass. Apparently he is learning some choice teenager beahviors from someone at school with an attitude. He has never used certain phrases before and ways of saying things with nastiness is new too. He favorite way? Drawing out the end of the word. For instance : "I said I put it on the ta --ble - - uh!" Add an eye roll and a head jerk and you have my life right now. When he doesn't get what he wants, he goes from acting like a teenager to crying, whining and stomping his feet on the floor in a heartbeat. Lord have mercy, he is nutty.

He is still having to be kept completely separate from the kids and the animals because of some horrid behavior choices. He is likely to really hurt someone if he is left alone with them. School does not seem to understand this and I put my foot down last week. I was feeling just shitty enough to holler at the Teacher of Record by saying cryptically, "I am warning you one last time, if you allow him to be left alone with another child and he does irrepairable mental or physical damage, YOU will be held responsible! And if you allow him to be left alone with staff prepare yourself for accusations! I will not be held responsible for what will happen. How soon can this be put in the IEP?" It was put in there the following morning.

I had a massive anxiety attack last week. I am not sure why, I thought I was doing pretty good emotionally, but apparently my body thought differently. It was the first time my husband had seen one and it freaked him out. I thought I was going to die. It had been so long since I had one like this (like 20 years) that I wasn't sure what was happening for at least 10 minutes, so my stress in what was happening made it worse. It lasted for about 30 minutes until I fell asleep. When I get one of this magnitude, I feel like I cannot breath. I have to sit ear an open window or I feel like I am suffocating. I feel super "bloated" like my insides are strangling me. My arms fall asleep and my legs twitch. It is the most odd sensation. The panic makes it worse and if I can psych myself out of it I can make it dissipate. That is the hook eh? Trying to calm myself when my entire body is freaking out.

Thankfully I am not down in the dumps, just irritated and on edge. I self medicated by taking two Zoloft last night. Hopefully some calm will come over me today.