Wednesday, September 7, 2011

inadequate

I am in a bit of a better space today. Things are still crappy, but I am less emotional. Today I am mad though. I feel like I can do nothing right. My mother, who is my boss, is being a pain in the ass. We are short staffed right now and instead of dealing with the one who's job it is to staff the place, she is pissy at me. She is throwing stuff at me to do left and right and then gets upset when my work isn't getting done in a timely manner because I am doing everyone else's crap.

My mom and I are tight, but like I said before she is a trigger. She also has OCD and anxiety, but rarely admits it and prefers to live without medication.

She needs medication.

When she is unhappy she takes it out on me and my step-father. Stressful situations are ugly. Right now they are having their house painted. I know that would really mess with my OCD with everything torn up, and she is UGLY. It is there times that make her very dificult to be around.

I am not sure if you would consider it passive agressive or not, but that's what I think it is. Today for instance she was complaining to a coworker right in front of me that she HAD to come pick me up at 7:30 this morning. Last night she called me two times OFFERING to pick me up. I said no once and she called back saying it wasn't a bother. The other day I dropped a tool on my ankle at her house and it looked like it was close to needing stitches. When my husband went inside to ask her if she had any steri-strips, she came outside and called me stupid for droppingthe tool, saying I was "dangerous" and hollered at me for not being more careful in front of my three kids, my brother and my 4 nieces and nephews. (I am KLUTZY, I have always been KLUTZY, she always says I am "dangerous") Does she think I did it on purpose? Does she think I wanted to slash my ankle open?

Another thing she does that really sets me off is when we are at work and I am not feeling well. will say something like, "Man, my head hurts today." and she will say, "Quit whining." or "Suck it up" always in front of coworkers. If anyone else says the same thing she tells them they should go home and take care of themselves. I am not wanting to go home, I am just tired of being made to feel like an ass. She will offer to stay and work someone else's shift or even offers ME to stay. Swear to goodness.

In her eyes I am totally inadequate.

3 comments:

  1. Maybe some distance between you would help? {{{{{Hugs}}}}}

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  2. I think your mom needs to read this!! I love you

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  3. I think you should really read the following post by another blogger. I think you, and many others would benefit from the message. A lot of the people you 'hang' with seem to be in the same boat.

    http://fosterparentingadventures.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete