I read the most profound blogpost today from a woman whose mother took her own life years ago. Today would've been her birthday. I was immediately touched by what Kristy said and I would like to leave it here. It is something I think I should read often. Thank you Kristy for sharing your pain, your revelations, and your grief. It has touched me deeply!
As much as it hurts to be without her, she taught me an important lesson. Though I fall short, my best is better than nothing at all. In the end, that was what I got as a kid, no mom. Even in my frustration and failure, I know that just my being here for my kids is something. My best is not perfect, but it is good enough. I was chosen for my children and them for me. I adore Howard and want nothing more than to be the best helper I can be to him and even when I fall short and lose my temper or snip at him, he loves me, and having me as a wife is better than going at it alone.
I fail. Every. single. day. I fail. My mom wasn't well enough to see that her presence was all that was needed, but because of her colossal mistake, I can. I can see it. Despite my shortcomings, my presence matters in this family. My kids love me, my husband loves me and my God loves me and that is enough. So for that lesson, I thank my mother.
Powerful! And so very needed.